The Opposite of Love

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."

-- Elie Wiesel 

So true, in so many contexts.

Wiesel, a Holocaust survivor, knew all too well the dangers and cruelty of indifference. I used this quotation often when giving talks on discrimination, racism, sexism. Now I find it applies to my most intimate relationship.

Drew never claimed to hate me, to want to hurt me. When I asked if he even thought of me while on his secret account, perusing Ashley Madison, making plans and meeting with other women, he said, sometimes - sometimes he thought about me, sometimes he felt guilty. But that was so uncomfortable that he mostly "forgot" me. He slipped into his shadow self, in his secret world, which he convinced himself could be kept completely separate from our life together.

But being forgotten feels incompatible with being loved.