Untangling the Skein of Fuckupedness
Chump Lady
[...]
Figuring out the cheater is energy directed at THEM, which is energy
deflected away from YOURSELF. You’re asking why they are this way,
instead of asking yourself the harder question of — why am I hanging
around this megabitch who’s not my friend?
I call this stage “Untangling the Skein of Fuckupedness.”
The skein is impossible, but by GOD, you’re going to unknot it, piece by piece, make it linear and you WILL understand it.
Untangling the skein of fuckupedness is a coping mechanism. You want
to figure out what makes your cheater tick so you can ensure that they
never do anything so devastatingly hurtful again. If it’s their FOO
issues with their mom, well, you’ll call and make that counseling
appointment for them. Untangling the skein is codependent behavior. Not
only will you make the counseling appointments, next you’ll get your
magic marker and highlight all the relevant chapters in the affair books
you bought for them on Amazon.
Stop it! Stop it right now! It’s not your job to figure them out! You
only get to figure out YOU. What your values are, what you will
tolerate, and what is acceptable and unacceptable to YOU. That’s it.
[...]
Showing posts with label Chump Lady. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chump Lady. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
An Introduction: Chump Lady
About Chump Lady
Chump Lady
Chump Lady is a nice person who wants better for you.
If you’re reading on this site, chances are you’ve been cheated on, or know someone who has. You’re not part of the Smug Unknowing class, untouched by infidelity. You’re a chump. You got played and you want to know how to navigate yourself out of this pain.
I’ve got the toolkit right here. Chump Lady is not a site optimistic about reconciliation. I liken reconciliation to a unicorn, a mythical creature I want to believe in, but which is seldom seen. This emphatically is NOT a site to save your marriage — this is a site about saving your sanity.
Who is Chump Lady? She is the friend who sits with you at 3 in the morning, pours you a bowl of raisin bran, and tells you to LEAVE that motherfucker. You deserve better than this. There’s a GOOD life out there without this jerk in it. Move toward it. You’re going to be just fine on the other side of this nightmare.
So why would you listen to a chump?
Because I lived it. And I got to the other side with my soul intact. I spent several years trying to figure out what the hell happened to me when I allowed my life to intersect with a serial cheater’s. Chump Lady is the wisdom that I wish I had the day I woke up in bed with another woman’s thong stuck to me. Chump Lady is the brain dump of everything I learned (painfully, stupidly) about infidelity. (Consider this the trial-tested results of What Not To Do, flubbed by yours truly.)
I also spent over a year trying to reconcile. Enough time to know what a painful time suck that is. Another place I spent a ton of time was online infidelity forums and realized, after reading thousands of stories over six years, that affairs are terribly banal and predictable. Cheaters have their playbook.
This is yours. Welcome!
Chump Lady
Chump Lady is a nice person who wants better for you.
If you’re reading on this site, chances are you’ve been cheated on, or know someone who has. You’re not part of the Smug Unknowing class, untouched by infidelity. You’re a chump. You got played and you want to know how to navigate yourself out of this pain.
I’ve got the toolkit right here. Chump Lady is not a site optimistic about reconciliation. I liken reconciliation to a unicorn, a mythical creature I want to believe in, but which is seldom seen. This emphatically is NOT a site to save your marriage — this is a site about saving your sanity.
Who is Chump Lady? She is the friend who sits with you at 3 in the morning, pours you a bowl of raisin bran, and tells you to LEAVE that motherfucker. You deserve better than this. There’s a GOOD life out there without this jerk in it. Move toward it. You’re going to be just fine on the other side of this nightmare.
So why would you listen to a chump?
Because I lived it. And I got to the other side with my soul intact. I spent several years trying to figure out what the hell happened to me when I allowed my life to intersect with a serial cheater’s. Chump Lady is the wisdom that I wish I had the day I woke up in bed with another woman’s thong stuck to me. Chump Lady is the brain dump of everything I learned (painfully, stupidly) about infidelity. (Consider this the trial-tested results of What Not To Do, flubbed by yours truly.)
I also spent over a year trying to reconcile. Enough time to know what a painful time suck that is. Another place I spent a ton of time was online infidelity forums and realized, after reading thousands of stories over six years, that affairs are terribly banal and predictable. Cheaters have their playbook.
This is yours. Welcome!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)